I think I have known this for some time, but today reminded me of this knowledge: when dissertating (or really doing any intense writing), I became violent, vicious, and hungry. My husband has deemed it VVH and would like to design a t-shirt with the acronym. I did not find this humorous. In fact, I kind of felt like this:


Now, when I say violent, do not think for a moment, dear readers, that I actually act on this impulse. I just imagine myself throwing furniture, stomping on my computer, and the like. And by vicious, I mean I have some nasty, childish thoughts. Like, “Oh yeah?! Well I don’t really want to write a dissertation anyway, and you can’t make me, you m*&^#$f%$#@!” directed at no one in particular. I am not proud of this. It just is.

The third one, though, is going to be a battle. Hungry. I want to eat EVERYTHING. And by everything, I mean nothing good for me. Heath bars. Oreo shakes. Rainbow Chip frosting right out of the jar. Big, thick chocolate chip pancakes with tons of butter and syrup. And then some more Heath bars.

It’s gross.

Maybe this is why I’ve avoided dissertating – because I know the chances of me succumbing to my inner fat girl are quite high. I have heard people post-Ph.D. referring to their “dissertation weight,” and I do not want to be one of them.